Tristram Speaks
05/29/2009
POPKRAZY is the brainstorm of Mr. Tristram Meat Andthree, who for over thirty years worked in the music industry in every capacity, from janitor to the president of assorted independent garage and rockabilly record labels. Tristram, as he was known to most (such was his humble demeanor that few knew him as Mr. Meat, much less Sir Andthree*) spent many hours after work, not unlike his hero Joseph Cornell, trying to create art from the artifacts and cultural debris that the industry generated from the '60s through the '90s--but to no avail. Sadly, no one understood Tristram's art, and no one cared.
Tristram has lived the better part of his life, of course, before the advent of our Great Digital Age, before music became ubiquitous and something to pour into your coffee for flavor at Starbucks or as the soundtrack for purchasing underwear at Old Navy, way before pop music became the free flowing background melodic line for the forthcoming dystopia.
Tristram's PopKrazy is the storage shed for these artifacts, a warehouse of dashed hopes and broken dreams, cornucopias of bittersweet memories and unfocused Cornellian boxes of debris from the '60s to the turn of the millennium. With great pain, he often wanders aimlessly through his vast collection, softly running his finger over the spines of his beloved cds and lps, pulling down a comic tome to breathe in the faint aroma of 4 color inks, only to return wearily home to bed, comforted not by American Idol mimicry but by the generous warmth of Jim Rockford's eternal smile. (When oh when, Tristram asks himself nightly, will I be able to go fishing with Rocky, Rockford's compassionate and mindful father?)
But now Tristram's hording must end. He has found new, perhaps more lucrative, opportunities in the fluid communities of Indian casinos. With a wistful look over his shoulder, Tristram has turned over all of his various collections to his longtime paramour and former Great Beauty, Memphis Moxie. Miss Moxie, with the assistance of her amanuensis, Miss Peppo will be fulfilling your orders with ease and clarity and grace. Her mission is to provide you, the customer, with the artifact you need with speed and precision-and within your modest budget.
Still dabbling in the biz, however, Tristram won't completely be able to contain his impulses to gather and store away, like some obese squirrel gone bonkers, searching for pecans in a world overflowing with coconuts. That is, he will continue to find things, and you, dear customer, will be the recipient of his obsessive endeavors. And, friends, aren't we all, really, obsessive to some degree, after all?
Between bouts of his collecting mania, after his wishful stint in the world of casinos, Tristram Meat Andthree will return to his one true passion--performing in Branson with the otherworldly Wilhelmina Moonlight, where they will perform nightly their death-defying dog act. Many are shocked by the movements of this brave enterprise, but the artistry of the performance belies its rawness, as the caravans of tour buses booked months in advance will attest. And yet--amazingly, you have a chance to be there! A purchase of $100 or more at the Popkrazy store will get you in FREE (!) to witness this critically acclaimed engagement. And so...
HAPPY SHOPPING!!
*the title of knighthood was bestowed on Tristram by the Queen of the Cotton Carnival Festival in 1972 in Memphis, Tennessee, on one lovely spring day in May. Tristram celebrated this grand event by throwing a free party at Graceland for the remaining members of the Memphis Mafia with honest barbeque from Payne's. It was not a gentle affair.
