Seeing the Light

A rooster crows only when it sees the light. Put him in the dark and he'll never crow. I have seen the light and I'm crowing." -Muhammad Ali.

I have spent the better part of my youth trekking around this great big country of ours hauling around songs and wearing out the soles of my shoes, and I believe I have seen the light, many times over. I've seen it in the eyes of young kids screaming back at me they're belief in a song, I've seen it in the middle of Texas broken down and lost, and I've seen it in my own sleep deprived eyes, to name just a few. Its been the darkness, though, as of late that has got me crowing. The darkness of my country lost and my place in it.

I have written song after song about this and that; fuck the war, fight the power, kill your scene, and all that and such. Most of it has been a reaction to what I felt powerless over or just tried to understand. Now in a time of rebuilding and introspection we seem more lost than ever, though. Yes, I've seen more depression in cities, boarded up metropolis and jobless eyes than ever before, but most of all I've seen this complete void of any kind of cohesive unity. Now maybe I sound a bit naive and it never existed in the first place but only in idealized speech and song.

Today more than ever, I feel a country without any kind of identity. I mean we are all from the same place just different worlds, right? Economics are the religion of the day, the bankers are the clerics and god is a fleeting, vague image of comfort and a new car. I was born of a generation that grew up punk as fuck. We were the evil empire, we lost Vietnam and then started a bullshit war in the Middle East and murdered for capitalism and this "ism" and that "ism," and blah fucking blah fucking blah. Where is the love I ask myself ? What do I latch on to as 'culture'?

Skateboarding and the underground music I loved was the culture of my youth. To you it may have been school, or fashion, or art, but what has grown from that? How has that culture rich in creativity, innovation, and spirit failed us so? I mean, who the fuck are we? Are we merely surviving our parents mistakes only to repeat them? I sing in a Punk Rock band and don't think for a second. I don't look at bridge or beautiful piece of architecture or artificial heart and go "damn, am I doing enough?". What am I doing to further not just my country, but my generation?

All these things I write will just help me better understand my feelings and probably just tangle my head even further. I do love being alive and I love this country. We created Blues, Jazz, Country music and Rock and fucking Roll for god sakes! I want to be this country, I don't want to kill for it or die for it. I want to create it from the ground up again and stand beside and be proud of it... Anyone else in?
      

Your friend,

 Jason Cruz